Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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