so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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