you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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