I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
