Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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