Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
