Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
