Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
