I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
