He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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