Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
