I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize