just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
