you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
