Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
