i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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