these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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