yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
