Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
