kristin has been a bad kristin
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
