Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
