You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
