I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
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I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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