Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
