Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
