There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
