We won't sleep together?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
