David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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