i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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