I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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