My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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