My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
