Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
