i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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