and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
