wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
