At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize