I heard we made out
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
