we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
