It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
