I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
