Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
