But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
