he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.