No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
