is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
organizing the empties. That sober.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
