she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
