Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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