Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
