you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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