take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
