Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
