Non-Jews are for practice
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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