Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you would pick up someone in the library
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
