Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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