I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
