Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
