Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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