4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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