Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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