Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
