I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
