if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize