it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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