Apparently you make a good broom.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
