We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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